Blaz, Blaz, and Blazy: The EENEBB Series
by tacoman828
Summary: A series of crazy adventures that involves members of the Ed, Edd, 'N Eddy and BlazBlue cast members that I spun off of my last two fics. I'm willing to take episode ideas from you all if you have them. There will be crossovers from other series in some too. Rated T because a combination between BlazBlue and Ed, Edd, 'N Eddy needs it. Please leave reviews, it actually means a lot!
1. Author's Note

Hello everyone and thanks for continuing to put up with my crazy crossovers of Ed, Edd, 'N Eddy and BlazBlue!

While writing the Halloween special, I had come up with an idea of creating a "series" of crossover episodes between the characters of both series. The idea I had would be like a set-up of EENE episodes: each episode follows its own plot as well as different levels of character involvement. It would be the usual zany humor in EENE, as well as the added humor from the BlazBlue characters.

I am writing these as though all of the EENE and BlazBlue characters knew each other to begin with. However, key elements from my past fics will have some relation to episodes, such as Boundary traveling, the Eds' relationships to all of the BlazBlue characters as well as Marie, Kevin, and Sarah's, and their quirks and interests.

I am still currently coming up with episodes to write, but you are more than welcome to PM me episode ideas. Keep in mind that the characters all know each other, I will be putting my own spin on things in addition to your plot idea, and I ultimately have final say in what gets used. However, if I decide to use your idea, I will definitely credit you in said episode. So shoot me messages people, my creativity can only take me so far!

In the meantime, reviews, messages, etc etc, are all appreciated as they help make me a little better at writing these things too. Don't be shy, I won't be hurt if you're honest. Just don't post negative comments that don't hold any constructive criticism in them.


	2. Episode 1: Ed-Cruitment Day

It was a bright, sunny day in Ronin-Gai. Bang Shishigami and his subordinates were going over training drills in the fields. During the drilling, Bang had partially started thinking how great it would be to have a group help with good deeds and be men of the people versus men dedicated to defending their home exclusively.

"Men, I must ask you all an important question," Bang announced to his subordinates.

"Sure, ask us anything Boss!" one of them said.

"Over these past few years we have dedicated our lives to defending our home of Ikaruga from evildoers and the Library. However, I do believe that we may prove to be even more virtuous by also providing for the people good ethics and leading our children into the future! I have come up with the idea of our children following us and learning important tools they will use in their everyday lives!"

"Do you mean like the Boy Scouts, Boss?"

A sweatdrop formed on Bang's head. "Erm, yes, something like that. However, I believe we shall also spread awareness of this plan to our comrades from Peach Creek as well as everyone here at home! What do you say men?"

"Excellent idea Boss! They will be honored to work with a great leader like you!" another subordinate said.

"Wonderful! I shall travel to Peach Creek at once!" Bang brought out his travel tablet Rachel gave him and everyone else at her party. "Peach Creek, Rathink Avenue!" the seal on the tablet glowed and soon a portal opened up to the Boundary. Bang stepped into the portal to wait for someone on the other side to allow them access.

Rolf allowed him access to the Cul-De-Sac. Bang stepped through, only to trip and land face-first into a pile of cow dung. "Oh ho ho, louder-than-a-tuba Bang man has come to visit?" Rolf said. "Rolf welcomes you to his home!"

Bang looked up at the Norwegian farm boy, his face still smeared with dung. He made the mistake of sniffing. "What is thi-? My God man! What is this substance that I have fallen into!?" He looked at the cow that laid it and then screamed like a girl, wiping off the dung as frantically as possible.

"Of course it is! Do you not understand that domestic animals must relieve themselves within the boundaries of farmland?" Rolf asked.

Bang gathered himself and adjusted his clothes. "My apologies young Rolf, I was merely-" He observed what Rolf was wearing: an Urban Ranger outfit. "Master Rolf, may I ask what it is that you are wearing?"

Rolf looked down at his uniform. "Oh, you must be inquiring about Rolf's Urban Ranger uniform! Rolf and two children are members of this organization, where we do good deeds and contribute useful skills to society," he explained.

Bang looked it over curiously. "Urban Rangers and good deeds you say…..Amazing! My men and I were recently discussing matters of this sort to assist the villagers of Ronin-Gai! Master Rolf, would you mind if I had joined this organization of yours?"

Rolf thought it over. Last time he tried recruiting Rangers, the Eds couldn't do the most basic of tasks expected of Wee Roaches. He wasn't sure how adult men would fare in their troop. 'Ah, why should we not give this loony man a chance? The Ed boys had attempted it, though they failed. This man may prove to be a useful leader.' He turned to Bang with a smile. "Very well then scruffy Bang man, Rolf and his Rangers will test you to earn one badge each, then you will be accepted as an Urban Ranger!"

Bang struck a pose. "Excellent! I shall conquer these challenges you pose to me!"

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Later that day, Rolf, Jonny, Plank, and Jimmy stood in front of Bang to give him their first test. "Scruffy Bang man!" Rolf began. "Today, the Urban Rangers stand before you to test your skills to become an honorary Ranger! You will learn good deeds and how to serve the everyday citizens of the world! Are you willing to endure these hardships?"

"YES!" he said.

"Very well, you currently possess the rank of a Wee Roach. If you complete the requirements for one badge, you will officially earn the rank of an Urban Ranger. Ranger Jimmy will explain the first badge."

Jimmy opened up the Ranger manual to find the first badge that Bang was going to try to earn. "Wee Roach Bang, your first badge will be the Ramen Cooking Badge. Your task will be to cook this package of ramen noodles correctly," he said, handing over a block of the dried noodles. "Follow the directions on the package and your challenge shall be complete." Bang gulped and realized he's never actually cooked anything in his life.

The Urban Rangers led Bang to Jimmy's kitchen so that he could attempt the challenge. The Rangers left the room and left Bang with the saucepan and the ramen package. Bang took a minute to figure out what the first step was, but then he figured out that he has to boil water. He put some water in the saucepan and then tried to figure out how to turn on Jimmy's stove. He turned the temperature dial all the way to the right, but then accidentally turned it too hard and broke the dial off of the oven.

"Oh dear," Bang said. The water was starting to rapidly boil, so Bang put the noodles in the pan, focusing on the task at hand and completely forgetting that the dial's busted. He skimmed the package and set the timer for ten minutes, while the required time was one. "Wonderful! The noodles shall be as good as ready in no time!" Bang said happily.

Ten minutes later, the Rangers came in to check on Bang's progress. "Wee Roach, have you completed your task?" Rolf asked.

The timer went off as soon as he had asked that. "My task has just been completed Ranger Rolf!" Bang said, walking towards the noodles to put them into a bowl. "You will find this ramen to be your lik-" he stopped mid-sentence when he realized that the noodles had completely dissolved into the water.

Rolf's eyes narrowed. "Roach Bang, you have failed! May Rolf ask you how you have managed to fail such an easy task?" he asked, crossing his arms.

Bang frowned. "I…..cannot believe that I have failed you. I followed the instructions to the letter!" He picked up the package to look over the instructions. "I had boiled the water and let the ramen cook for ten minutes! What had happened?"

Rolf facepalmed and took the package from him. He pointed at the instruction that said 'and cook one minute, stirring occasionally.' "You have cooked it for far too long. No badge." Bang sighed in defeat.

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The Rangers led Bang to a lawnmower and Jonny's horribly unkempt lawn. "Ranger Jonny! Rolf is appalled at the appearance of your dwelling's lawn and I want to strip you of your Lawn Care Badge!" Rolf complained.

"Sorry Rolf," Jonny said sheepishly. "It was Plank's turn to mow this week!"

Rolf sighed. "Nevertheless, our new Wee Roach will be given the opportunity to earn the same badge." He turned to Bang. "Roach Bang, you will demonstrate how to operate the lawnmower and then proceed to mow Ranger Jonny's front lawn. You will have one hour to complete this task."

Bang gave the Ranger salute. "You can count on me to endeavor this task Ranger Rolf! I, BANG SHISHIGAMI, shall not fail again!" The Rangers left Bang to his task. He spent the next ten minutes trying to figure out how to operate the lawnmower. Soon he found the instructions on the side of the machine and pulled the cord to start it. "A-HA! I am one step closer to earning this achievement!" Bang cheered. "Now to conquer Ranger Jonny's lawn!" He started to push for a while but started to get a little tired from pushing it around the whole time in deep grass. He examined the instructions again to see if there was an easier way to operate it.

"I see...this machine possesses a self-propel mechanism!" Bang observed. He activated the self-propel and started going at a slow, but steady pace. Problem was, it was going so slow it took him five minutes just to reach the other side of the lawn. He checked his watch.

"Blast! I only have fifteen minutes left to complete this task!" Bang said frantically. "If only there was a way I can work faster!" He started looking around for a switch or something to speed it up. He found the speed control and switched it on to the fastest setting. "Now I shall be done in no time!" he said.

After turning the switch all the way up, the machine started to vibrate violently and then started going all over the place, pulling Bang with it. "What has happened!? Help!" he cried.

Ten minutes later, Rolf, Jimmy, and Jonny all came to see how Bang was doing, and boy were they at a loss for words. "My yard!" Jonny cried. "Oh man, my mom's gonna kill me!" There was torn-up sod all over the place, damaged hedges, a few broken fence posts, and some gophers shaking their paws angrily at Bang.

Rolf's patience was really starting to decline now. He glared at Bang. "Wee Roach! I have not seen lawn care this despicable since I loaned the Ed boys Victor! No badge!"

Bang sighed, wondering if this losing streak was going to continue.

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The Rangers and Bang met at the town's post office for Bang's next attempt. "Wee Roach, this is very easy," Rolf began. "You are to take these letters and deliver them to their respective owners in order to earn the Mail Delivery Badge." He handed Bang a small bag full of letters. "Simply look at the address of the dwelling and drop off the mail in the resident's mailbox. Is that understood?"

Bang struck his signature pose with a fist in the air. "Yes! This is one task I cannot possibly fail to do!" He slung the bag over his shoulder and made a run for the Cul-De-Sac. "I will not fail you, Ranger Rooollllllfff!" he said as he ran from the Rangers.

"Jeepers, that man is stranger than Mr. Yum-Yum's tea party habits," Jimmy said. The other two just looked at him. "What?" he asked.

Meanwhile, Bang had arrived at the Cul-De-Sac to make his deliveries. He looked at the address of the first letter and saw that it led to a house with a fenced-in yard. He opened the gate to walk up and put the letter in the mailbox when suddenly he heard a small growl. He looked down at the sound of the noise and saw a small dog looking up at him.

"Ha ha! Greetings young dog!" Bang laughed. "Wonderful day we are having!" he bent down to pet the dog. The dog looked at his hand and then bit it hard. "YYYEEEEOOOOOWWWWW!" Bang screamed, waving his arm all over to shake the dog off. "Unhand me you scourge of a canine!" The dog flew off of his arm, giving Bang enough time to drop the letter off and run out of the yard before the dog could catch up to him.

Bang was breathing heavily at the event that just happened. "My word, I had no idea these sort of tasks could be so endearing!" He stood up straight and put on a determined face. "No! I cannot admit defeat after one delivery! I must be quicker than lightning and stealthier than a shadow! I! WILL! WIN!"

Suddenly, Bang put his hands together in concentration. With fire in his eyes, he said "Shishigami-ninpo-Forbidden Art! FU-RIN-KA-ZAN!" In a flash, he was running to each house and delivering letters so fast no one even noticed that he was there. Ten minutes later, he had delivered every letter on Rathink Avenue.

"Ha ha! Excellent! I shall report to the Urban Rangers at once!" Bang said happily. He made for the post office to tell the Rangers the good news.

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When Bang arrived at the post office, Rolf was waiting for him, but with a look of contempt instead of hope for Bang completing something correctly. "Ranger Rolf! I have completed the task given before me! I do hope this will be enough to suffice for this badge!" Bang said with a smile.

Rolf had other thoughts. "Oh ho ho, is this so, nuttier-than-a-fruitcake Bang man?" Rolf's face contorted into annoyance. "You had delivered all of the mail, yes, but Nana had picked up our mail as soon as you had left," he said, pulling out a girly magazine that was addressed to Eddy and making everyone else blush. "Do you dare think the Son of a Shepherd would reduce himself to subscribing to these immoral magazines!? Rolf has been burdened with the punishment of peeling ten thousand potatoes by sundown!"

Bang was horrified at the fact that he had failed yet another task. "Surely I could not have made more than that one mistake?"

Jonny pulled out a piece of paper and started to read off of it. "This is a list of complaints we got from all of the residents. It sounds like you delivered every single piece of mail to the wrong house."

Rolf looked at Jimmy. "Ranger Jimmy, bring me my barrel of lard."

Jimmy hauled over a large barrel full of the lard. "Here you go, Rolf."

He handed Jimmy a badge. "And here is your own lard-bringing badge." Jimmy smiled and accepted it.

Bang's eyes went wide at that badge. "Wha- what is this nonsense!? Ranger Jimmy receives a badge by simply bringing you a barrel of lard!?"

Rolf shrugged. "You would have also earned a badge simply by delivering mail, but you have failed in doing that!" Rolf pulled out his tablet. "Ronin-Gai!" a portal opened up a little ways away from the four that led to the Boundary. He poured the lard down the sidewalk that led to the portal. He turned to Bang. "You have failed in your tasks as a Wee Roach and for that I cannot allow you to become an Urban Ranger. Therefore, we must sentence you to the dreaded "Walk of Shame"."

Bang got on his knees and put his hands together. "Ranger Rolf, there must be some other way that I can make it up to you! Please!"

Rolf simply shook his head. "I am afraid I cannot allow this to pass. Goodbye." He pushed Bang down the trail of lard, the ninja slipping wildly and yelling before he landed into the portal, which closed behind him. Rolf turned to his fellow Rangers. "Rangers, we must make for the Cul-De-Sac and begin shoveling Wilfred's fecal matter before the afternoon is past." Jimmy and Jonny hung their heads and sighed at the task and followed Rolf to do the dirty work.


	3. Episode 2: Cooking is an Ed

_Credit for the cooking episode idea goes to OrionGold._

* * *

It was late afternoon in Kagutsuchi and Noel Vermillion and Nazz were waiting at the local television broadcast station to pitch their show idea to the producers. They had been waiting for what seemed like forever when suddenly the clerk said "Noel Vermillion?"

The girls walked over to the desk. The clerk looked at their application they submitted and then looked back at them. "So I see you are interested in doing a cooking show?" she asked.

Noel nodded enthusiastically. "Yes ma'am! We both love cooking, so why not make a show out of it?"

The clerk sighed. "Lieutenant Vermillion, you do realize that cooking shows are usually either skipped by people changing the channel or air during the daytime, correct? What does your show have that those other ones don't?"

Noel was struggling to find the words, but Nazz covered for her. "Our show has stunts! Excitement! Stuff you could try at home but I wouldn't recommend!" she said, trying to sound as convincing as possible but at the same time making Noel terrified. Noel was about to say something, but Nazz put a hand to her mouth. "This cooking show in particular has stuff you wouldn't normally see in other shows, save for the cooking part of it of course."

The clerk raised an eyebrow. "A cooking show with…..stunts." she said, not completely convinced. "And what kind of "stunts" are you planning on doing Miss, um, Van Bartonschmeer?"

Nazz smiled, trying to talk it up as much as possible. "Oh, nothing ridiculous, just some torching, micronuking, acrobatics, and maybe some cooking over large flames." Noel cringed at every single thing Nazz was saying, wondering if that 14-year-old girl was going to be the death of her.

The clerk had a horrified look on her face, but was also intrigued. "Very…..interesting, yes. If you are to do this all and it proves to peak interest, then I may schedule you both for a later time during the week." She handed them a schedule. "You'll both start out on the 10AM block. If the show gets enough hits, you'll move up to prime time."

The girls were walking out of the studio. "Oh man, can you believe it? We're going to be on TV!" Nazz squealed.

"Yeah….great, heh heh." Noel stammered. 'I don't believe it, I'm going to get killed on national television thanks to a 14-year-old,' she thought.

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The next morning the girls were in the studio getting their supplies set up. They were taking instructions from the crew and going over the whole schedule for the episode as well as taking inventory of all of the groceries. Their first episode was going to be how to make Strawberry Panna Cotta.

"Okay Noel, this should be a relatively easy thing to start the first episode with," Nazz explained. "There's only five ingredients and it doesn't take long to do. The hardest part is waiting."

"That's good and all," Noel started to say. "But is walking on hot coals while doing it all really necessary?" she asked, eyeing the hot coals burning on the ground in front of the stove.

Nazz shrugged it off like it was an everyday occurrence. "Pssh, it's nothing, especially if you're wearing THESE." She held up two pairs of steaks that had straps attached to them, making them look like steak flip-flops. "Cooking dinner while making dessert!"

Noel's eyes went wide. "W-wha?" She frantically flipped through the episode's schedule pamphlet. "Where does it say anything about DINNER?"

Nazz pointed at Page 3. "Right there, under where we explain what we're making." Noel gulped nervously. "Ah, no worries Noel, they're 72 ounce steaks anyways. It's gonna take a while for the coals to burn us." Nazz reassured.

Noel sighed. "I-if you say so." After a deep breath, she put on a determined smile on her face. "If it means I get to showcase my cooking talents with the world, then I'll do whatever it takes!"

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The girls got into position on the set and waited for the cue from the director. "Rolling in three…...two…...one…...ACTION!" he said. The theme and intro movie played for the show and then the cameras were trained on Noel and Nazz.

"Hello wonderful citizens of Kagutsuchi! I am Lieutenant Noel Vermillion and alongside me is my partner Nazz!" Noel introduced while Nazz waved into the camera. "This is our first episode, so we thought it would be best to tell you that this isn't your ORDINARY cooking show."

"That's right," Nazz chimed in. "This cooking show in particular has death-defying stunts done while we whip up delicious entrees and desserts! It's a show we like to call 'Deliciously Dangerous with Noel and Nazz!'"

"So let's get started!" the daring chefs said in unison. While Nazz got the groceries and pots and pans out, Noel decided to explain the dish. "So today we will show you all how to make Strawberry Panna Cotta. What is it you ask?" Noel brought out a picture of the dessert. "It's an Italian gelatin dessert that's strawberry-flavored! Perfect for learning how to make fancy food."

Nazz decided to up the ante. "And while we're showing you all how to make it, we'll be doing this while walking over a bunch of hot coals while wearing steak shoes!" The crew focused a second camera on the floor that revealed the hot coals. "Needless to say we will be cooking while avoiding getting burned and perfectly cooking steaks at the same time."

Noel took a saucepan and put half a pint of heavy cream into it while stepping onto the coals. "Now first you want to put your entire half pint of cream into the dish and boil that with two cups of sugar until it fo-o-o-OW!" she started to say before an ember hit her foot. She shook it off and went back to work, some of the crew snickering. "Anyways, let it boil until the foam rises and then take it off of the heat."

Nazz, on the other end of the work island, started on the other part of the project. "In the meantime, put an entire packet of unflavored gel-OUCH!" A coal burned her foot slightly when she stepped wrong. "The gelatin and a third-cup of milk in a bowl. You're going to ll-LET THATSITUNTILTHECREAMISDONE," she said fast, the flames starting to lick at her a bit. She turned the steak shoes over so the other side would cook and give her some extra time before she got fried. Noel did the same.

'Oh no, we might not even make it to Episode Two," Noel thought. She put on a straight face and kept working. The cream boiled over and she turned off the heat. "Now we'll put the milk and gelatin mix into the cream. Then we add the vanill-AH!" Embers started to dance around her feet a bit, making her step around frantically. Noel grabbed the strawberry daiquiri mix, Nazz not noticing since she was trying to avoid getting burned. "Add a half a bottle of strawberry daiquiri mix, non-alcoholic of course, and chill for four hou-ou-OW!" Her feet started to burn, so she dumped some of the daiquiri sauce on them too cool them off. Unfortunately, the sugar started to caramelize on her feet, so her feet became a sticky sweet mess.

Nazz was starting to get nervous as well. The steaks were starting to cook to medium-well, so they had to wrap it up fast. She put the mixture into four serving cups and put it in the blast chiller. "To save time, we're blast chilling them all for ten minu-OUCH! We'll see you back after these messages from our sponsors!" The bell sounded to let the crew know they were off air. Noel and Nazz ran for the giant water buckets provided and dove in. "Aaahhh," they cooed in relief.

While they were sitting in the buckets, the studio executive, Mr. Sheffield, came up to them. "I have to say girls, this is the most entertainment I've seen from a cooking show since the last Hell's Kitchen episode," he said. He looked over some paperwork. "I'm willing to book you for a whole season if this goes well."

Noel and Nazz got stars in their eyes at the sound of a shot at national stardom, completely forgetting the suffering they just endured a minute ago. "You have a deal!" they said in unison.

"Wonderful! In addition to that, would you mind if I came down to try a sample of this delicious dessert when you are done making it?" The girls nodded. "Good. You two will be back on in five minutes. Until then, relax and get a new set of steak shoes to cook, that was a great idea to do! The audience is eating it up, no pun intended." He walked away from the girls to talk to the crew.

Nazz looked at her partner with a smile. "Aw man! This is totally cool! We get to be TV stars!"

Noel looked at her with the same excited expression. "I know! Where did you get this panna cotta recipe from anyways? It sounds delicious!"

Nazz shrugged. "The writer of this fic came up with it, it was something original I guess." (Sorry for the shameless self-promotion, but feel free to PM me for the recipe :) )

The girls relaxed for a couple of minutes until the director ordered them back on the set to continue the show. The director counted down the time until airing and then the chefs were back on air.

"Hello and welcome back!" Noel said. "During the commercial, we got new steaks to wear, because who likes well-done steak, right?" A crew member that apparently loved well-done flipped her off, but she ignored it. "Anyways, we put the panna cottas in the blast chiller to speed up the chilling pro-ah-ah-CESS!" she said, straining the last syllable since the flames were already starting to hit.

Nazz was starting to avoid the hot coals as much as possible too while getting the panna cottas out of the blast chiller. "And here they are! Don't they look rad?" She revealed four custard-like substances that slightly resembled pudding more than panna cotta. The girls flipped over their steaks. "I'm gonna cut up some strawberries and top off the panna c-AH-AH-AHs with them!" Nazz started to dance around the embers leaving burn marks on her feet.

The PCs were finished and the crew put out the coals and replaced the floorboards. The girls breathed sighs of relief now that that ordeal was over. Noel turned back to the camera with a smile on her face. "Now that that's done, let's bring our wonderful executive, Mr. Sheffield, down here to try them out!" Sheffield came onto the set to test out the dessert.

"Thank you for having me on here ladies, and I must say these look stunning!" he said. He took a spoonful of the dessert.

"Well, what do you think?" Noel said with a hopeful gleam in her eye. The executive had a hollow-eyed expression on his face and then immediately started shaking, collapsing on the ground. "W-what!?" Noel yelled in fear.

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911 was called and Mr. Sheffield was carried out on a stretcher. The medic came up to the girls. "Sheffield had a sugar overload and got a serious case of diabetes just in one bite. How much sugar was in that anyways?" he asked.

Noel started to panic. "I-I-I-I followed the recipe, I don't know what happened!" she stammered. "Half a pint of cream, two cups of sugar, third cup of milk, two teaspoons of vanilla, and half a bottle of daiquiri sauce!"

Nazz's ears perked up. "Wait, HOW much sugar and syrup!?"

"Um, two c-cups and ha-half a bottle?" Noel said nervously.

Nazz pulled out the recipe. "It was supposed to be HALF A CUP and ONE CUP! That's enough sugar as it is!" she said. Noel bowed her head at another one of her infamous cooking disasters. "Not cool Noel! We nearly killed a guy with your screw-up! I'm outta here!" She got her tablet out and opened a portal to go home.

Noel turned to the medic with a nervous smile on her face. "I suppose this means we're not doing another episode?" The medic gave her a "what do you think" look before he walked away to help the exec. Noel just sighed and went back to the NOL to test the recipe out again on her co-workers. Hopefully they'll appreciate her hard "work."


	4. Episode 3: Too Ed To Handle

The Eds were sitting in Eddy's room trying to think of new scams to try out. Double Dee was writing down the harebrained ideas Ed and Eddy were suggesting while editing them to make them more practical.

"Okay, what about this one," Eddy started. "We get a bunch of pies and the kids cough up fifty cents to guess the right flavor. If they guess right, they get to hit Ed with it!"

"Mmm, pie!" Ed added.

"Slapstick comedy antics Eddy? Please," Double Dee scoffed. "Are we really running so low on scam ideas that you have to resort to cartoon humor to satisfy yourself?"

Eddy shot him a look. "I don't see YOU coming up with any ideas Einstein!"

"That's because every time I suggest an idea you immediately reject it, thinking it is too 'boring,'" Double Dee said.

"Well am I wrong?" Eddy walked over to a mini-fridge he recently got put into his room to grab a soda.

"Hey Eddy, can you get me one too?" Ed asked.

Eddy grinned to himself, thinking this was the perfect opportunity to prank his friend. "Why sure Ed, here you go," Eddy said in a not-so-subtle pranking way, handing Ed a bottle of hot sauce instead of a bottle of soda. Ed, not paying attention to the label, popped the cap off and started to drink it, making Eddy keel over laughing.

Double Dee however, immediately noticed what happened. "ED WAIT! That's hot sauce!" he yelled, trying to stop his friend from destroying his insides. By the time Double Dee finished talking, Ed had already drank half of the bottle. But Ed felt nothing negative happen to him.

"That's why it tasted funny," Ed said, looking at the label.

Eddy however, looked at Ed, confused. "The heck? Why is nothing happening to you? This stuff is supposed to make grown men cry with just a taste!" he complained, taking a dab from the bottle and putting it in his mouth. He went wide-eyed for a second. The three hairs on his head started to catch on fire then he made a beeline for the kitchen to grab water.

Double Dee and Ed rushed down to the kitchen to help Eddy. When they came into the kitchen, they saw their friend pouring jug after jug of water down his throat, making him swell up like a water balloon.

"Good Lord man, calm yourself!" Double Dee said. He instructed Ed to grab Eddy to calm him down. Ed squeezed a little too hard and made all of the water burst out of Eddy like a geyser.

"Eddy, mind me asking where you had acquired such a bottle of hot sauce?" Double Dee asked, crossing his arms.

Eddy looked at the bottle's label. "I scammed it off of some sap in Kagutsuchi a little while ago. It looks like it's made with something called an "Ikaruga Puff Pepper." So why didn't Ed feel anything then?"

"It seems Ed has an unnaturally high heat tolerance for hot sauce. But that does not explain why he felt the effects of your brother's hot sauce."

Ed shrugged. "I felt like drinking from a sprinkler. It's more fun than a glass."

Suddenly the boys got a notification from their tablets that said someone was trying to gain access to their dimension. Double Dee allowed access and then a portal opened up right in the middle of Eddy's kitchen.

"Shorty 2!" Taokaka yelled as she pounced on Eddy through the portal. "Tao came to visit you guys, meow!"

"The heck are you doing here, furball?" Eddy scoffed.

Tao got off of Eddy to explain. "Well, it's been a looooooooong time since I seen you guys, meow. So I used Bunny Lady's teleporter thingy to see you! Do you have anything to drink?"

Eddy snickered. 'My next victim,' he thought. He handed Tao the half-empty bottle of hot sauce and Tao started to drink some of it. She drank about a quarter of the bottle and wiped off her mouth.

"Thanks!" Tao said happily. "Tao was parched!"

Eddy was dumbstruck. "What? AGAIN!?"

Double Dee looked over Tao curiously. "It seems Taokaka has the same heat tolerance as Ed, which would make sense since they eat about the same amounts, though I question Ed's choice of diet in most cases." Ed giggled to himself. "Interesting, I wonder how high their tolerance is."

"This means that we are half-pepper gods!" Ed concluded. "Together we shall conquer any hot thing that goes into our mouths!" Tao grinned at that.

Suddenly a lightbulb popped over Eddy's head. "Hmm, I just got an idea!" he announced.

Everyone looked at him. "Oh? And what insane scheme have you conjured up this time Eddy?" Double Dee asked.

Eddy started to run out his door. "Just shut up and follow me, will ya?" The four of them started to head towards the Cul-De-Sac.

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Fifteen minutes later, the Eds and Taokaka were sitting at a stand in the middle of the Cul-De-Sac with a sign that said "Masters of Heat - Bets: 50 cents." With them they had an assortment of hot sauce, water, and Double Dee's medical bag in case things got messy.

"Please reconsider this Eddy," Double Dee pleaded. "Your scheme is sure to incinerate Ed and Tao's stomachs with the acidity of the hot sauces."

"No one asked for your input, primadonna," Eddy scoffed. He pulled out his megaphone via hammerspace. "Gather around folks and be amazed at the two that can conquer all hot food in the world! Think you can take them down? Bets are fifty cents!" A minute later, the kids of the Cul-De-Sac began to gather around the stand to see what the commotion was about.

"What's going on Eddy?" Jonny asked.

Eddy smiled. "Glad you asked, Jonny-boy! See, Ed and Tao can handle pretty much any hot food or sauce you give them." He snapped his fingers and Ed grabbed a jumbo jalapeno pepper via hammerspace and him and Tao ate it whole without even blinking. The children were amazed. "As I was saying, if you can give Lumpy and/or Furball here something that they can't handle, you get double what you bet. If not, we keep the bet." He turned to the other kids. "Now who wants to give it a try first?"

Jonny paid first. He showed the Eds and Tao a bottle of sriracha sauce and handed it to them. Double Dee poured a little sriracha into two ramekins and handed them to Ed and Tao. They downed it all without so much as a flinch. Jonny's eyes went wide. "What? But Plank's tummy hurts after a taste of that stuff!" he exclaimed, holding up his wooden pal.

Double Dee pulled out a chart of the famous Scoville Scale (the chart that determines heat intensity of peppers and hot sauces). "It says here that sriracha sauce only has 44% the heat of a jalapeno pepper, Jonny," he explained. "Those two would never cease from something like this." Jonny shrugged and went back into the crowd.

Eddy took it and threw it out, annoying his friend. "Alright, enough science mumbo-jumbo, who's next?"

Next up was Nazz. She paid her fifty cents and went up to the boys, who started to sweat nervously at her sight. "Here you go guys," she said, handing them a chipotle pepper. Double Dee took it and cut it up for the two testers to conquer. Ed and Tao went wide-eyed for a second, but managed to do nothing more than that.

"C'mon guys, Tao eats spicier than that when Good Guy feeds her!" Tao complained. Everyone but the Eds looked at her when she said 'Good Guy,' not quite used to her infamous nicknames yet.

"She means Ragna, the guy with the giant sword," Ed explained. They all nodded in understanding. Nazz's challenge was conquered, so she went back into the crowd, pouting.

Next up was Sarah and Jimmy. They both paid and revealed a bright-red pepper that looked like a jalapeno. "Behold a cayenne pepper," Jimmy announced. "My mom puts bits of this in a humidifier when I get sick since it opens up my nose. But one taste and you'll be running for water!"

Sarah looked at Ed. "And I want to see Ed go crazy after eating this," she said evilly. Double Dee handed Tao and Ed pieces of the pepper to try out. They both took a bite of their pieces.

Tao started to sweat. "Sock Head Guy, these are reeeeeeeeeally spicy, meow," she said. "But Tao still loves it!" She looked at Ed who was also starting to sweat and coughed once, but he smiled and gave her a thumbs-up.

Eddy stood up on top of the stand. "See? What did I tell ya guys?" he said. "These two can conquer anything you throw at them!" He mused over the two bucks they made so far in the jar.

Double Dee was starting to get concerned. "Eddy, maybe we should stop this. Those two seem to work harder and harder to endure the heat of the peppers. They could potentially end up in the hospital."

Eddy took a second to stop admiring his money to look over at Double Dee. "We're not stopping now, Sock Head! We're making a killing here!"

Before Double Dee could protest further, Kevin and Rolf stepped up to the plate. "Alright Dorks, Rolf and I are upping the ante to a buck each," Kevin said with a smirk.

Eddy's pupils turned into gold bars. 'Ah man, we're swimming in moolah now!' he thought. He looked at Kevin and Rolf with a determined smile. "Alright Kev, bring it!"

The two revealed a dark red pepper in a bag. They brought it out and it already made everyone gag just with a whiff of it. "This is a Carolina Reaper Pepper," Rolf said. "These have been used to torture thieves back in the Old Country and were never eaten for pleasure."

Double Dee, getting his Scoville Scale chart back, started to look for it on there. As soon as he found it, he was immediately horrified with the results. He rushed to Eddy. "Eddy, we have to end this charade now!" he said frantically, shaking Eddy. "This could kill those two!"

"What? And lose two bucks? Now way Jose!" Eddy rejected.

Ed and Tao started sweating nervously. "Um, Eddy? I don't think I can eat that," Ed said, praying his friend reconsiders.

"Shorty 2, Tao thinks Eyebrow Guy's right," the Kaka said. "That thing looks like Jock Boy and Country Boy could knock someone out with that, meow."

Eddy turned to the two soon-to-be victims. "You two are going to do it, I'm not missing out on two bucks!"

Rolf looked at Ed and Tao suspiciously. "It seems your friends are not welcoming of the challenge, Three-Haired Ed-Boy. Is Rolf's pepper too much to handle?" he teased. Eddy, having enough of the pleads and teasing, ripped the pepper out of his hands and shoved it in Ed and Tao's mouths. The two chewed it and already began to wince.

Both started to sweat profusely. Soon, the top of Ed's head began to smolder and burn off the hairs on his head and he began to sweat out a puddle. The red dots under Tao's eyes that resembled her eyes turned into flames and the tip of her tail lit up, slowly burning off the fur on it.

"AAAAAUUUUUGGGHHHH!" both screamed, running to find anything and everything they could to cool off their mouths. They grabbed every jug of water the stand had and chugged it, both of them swelling up like water balloons. They made a break for Rolf's tomatoes to try and cool their mouths off.

"No-Chin Ed-Boy and Kitty-Cat Taokaka Girl! You are not to touch Rolf's family tomato patch!" Rolf yelled, chasing after them.

Eddy, in total disbelief that those two couldn't handle it, looked at Kevin. He plastered a nervous smile on his face. Kevin smirked and walked towards Eddy's money jar. Eddy grabbed it and held it tight. "C'mon Kev, can't we talk about this?" Eddy pleaded. Kevin slugged him in the face and took his winnings.

"We'll talk after I get some jawbreakers, dorks!" Kevin called out while walking away from the stand.

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In Double Dee's room, Ed bandaged head to toe and Tao having bandages on her tail and an ice pack on her head. Double Dee had to grab Litchi to help him out.

"And that's the last of the external injuries," Litchi concluded, putting the finishing touches on Ed's bandaging. She looked at Ed and Tao. "You two need to be more careful with what you eat. Too much spicy food can harm your stomach." She then shot a look at Eddy. "And you! What were you thinking, making Ed and Tao eat that?"

"Hey, if you knew half of the things Ed ate, you'd think there was no problem either," Eddy sneered. "How the heck would we know he couldn't handle that?"

Litchi facepalmed. "When using a Carolina Reaper, hot sauce creators only use tiny bits of the pepper. Too much can cause serious internal damage."

"At any rate, we appreciate all that you have done here Doctor," Double Dee said. He turned to Ed and Eddy. "Let this be a lesson to you Ed, you need to watch what you eat. And YOU Eddy, you can't force someone to do something that could harm them, especially when they practically beg you not to do it."

Litchi's ears perked up. "Wait, so Ed and Tao DIDN'T want to eat the pepper in the first place and Eddy MADE them?" She glared at the three-haired culprit, who had a nervous smile on his face.

"Yep, we thought we were going to burst into flames, Boobie Lady," Tao explained. "Shorty 2 insisted it would be okay and then next thing we knew, we were running around like the Kaka kittens when they see a fish in the middle of the village!"

Litchi opened up a portal back to the clinic and grabbed Eddy. "You're going to learn some things about spicy food and organ damage so this doesn't happen again," she scolded, dragging Eddy through the portal.

"Wait! WAIT! Don't make me go!" Eddy begged, clawing the ground. "Don't make me learn! I have to do enough of that in school!" He looked up at Double Dee with hope in his eyes. "C'mon Sock Head, help me out here!" Double Dee waved to his friend, who then got dragged completely through the portal.

Double Dee sighed. "Some people never learn I suppose," he muttered. He looked over at Ed and Tao, who were putting hot sauce on a couple of meatbuns Litchi brought them and munching away at them. He saw the label on the bottle, which said "Lethal Dose Ghost Pepper Hot Sauce." "Ed, Tao! What are you doing!" he said in a panic.

"Eating Boobie Lady's meatbuns with some hot sauce!" Tao said with a smile.

Double Dee facepalmed. "Honestly, haven't we had enough mishaps with hot sauce for one day?"

Ed wasn't fazed by the comment. "Nah, don't worry Double Dee. This isn't that ba-" Him and Tao were knocked out by the sauce.

Double Dee got out his tablet and opened a portal to Litchi's clinic. "Here we go again," he muttered.


	5. Episode 4: Cool Your Ed

_A/N: Hey, so this one was a little less thought out than my last couple of episodes, so I apologize in advance if this gets a little too bizarre. I do have a couple of extra crossover episodes coming up, but I was debating between including them in this fic or make it its own story to include the series in a crossover with Ed, Edd, 'N Eddy. I'll leave that idea up to you guys for debate. Anyways, enjoy!_

* * *

It was an extremely hot day in Peach Creek. The temperature was nearing a hundred degrees, one of the hottest days of the year. No one was outside because they did not dare try to play in the heat, especially with how fast they could get sunburned. The Eds were sitting in Double Dee's living room trying to cool themselves off.

"Double Dee, when the heck are your folks going to fix that air conditioning?" Eddy complained.

Double Dee was sitting in an armchair with a fan blowing fully in his face. "My apologies Eddy, but I'm afraid the repairman did not appear as scheduled today. The repair company is rescheduling an appointment in three days."

"THREE DAYS!?" Eddy exclaimed. "How are you supposed to keep from turning into a walking waterfall without the A/C?"

"I want to be a waterfall Eddy," Ed said with ice cubes in his pants.

"Congratulations Bird Brain, you're halfway there if this stupid A/C doesn't get fixed," Eddy snorted. "Wait, why don't we just go to Ed's place instead of here?"

"Sarah locked me out and said something about her and Jimmy having a tea party," Ed explained. "What about your place?"

"It's the one time during the season my parents actually clean the house," Eddy explained. "You guys remember the last time we tried hanging out at my place when they were cleaning, don't you?"

Ed gulped. "Yeah, your mom chased me out with a broom! She's a scary lady when she cleans!"

The three boys sat for a minute continuously trying to cool themselves off. Suddenly Eddy got the usual smile on his face that gave off the indication that he had a scam idea. "Hey guys, I know how we can beat the heat AND get rich doing it!"

Double Dee wasn't convinced. "Oh? And what insidious plan do you have that could possibly convince anyone to risk their lives to enter this proverbial oven?" he asked skeptically.

Eddy pulled some plans he made out of hammerspace. "We should make sno-cones! We'd be cooling off WHILE eating jawbreakers!" he said excitedly.

"But Eddy, where will we get the ice for the sno-cones?" Ed asked.

Eddy smirked. "I know just the place," he said while taking out his tablet.

* * *

"You're out of your minds if you think I'll do something like that," Jin sneered. "And how did you three get let in here anyways?" The Eds were standing in Jin's office in the NOL pitching their idea to him.

"Miss Noel let us in," Ed said. "Isn't she nice?"

Jin put his hand to his forehead in frustration. He pressed an intercom button on his desk. "Lieutenant Vermillion, report to my office immediately!" he shouted.

"Right away Major!" she responded over intercom. Noel walked into the room nervously. "Lieutenant Noel Vermillion present sir!" she said while saluting.

Jin shot her a dirty look, making her shrink back a bit. "Mind telling me why you let these three into my office just so they could pitch a stupid sno-cone idea to me?" he demanded.

"W-well, you see sir, they just teleported here and asked to see you about a business offer. T-they seemed reasonable, so I let them have an appointment with you."

"Major Kisaragi, if I may be so kind, we did come in here with an added proposal so that you may acquire a share of the profits," Double Dee reasoned. "Surely you would not think we would only use your freezing skills and take all of the rewards for ourselves?"

"Yeah, you would get some of the cash…. wait, WHAT!?" Eddy grabbed Double Dee's shirt. "You're gonna let him walk away with OUR cash?"

Double Dee pried Eddy's hands off of his shirt. "Honestly Eddy, do you insist on grabbing my shirt every time you need to prove a point?" he complained. "And yes, it is only fair that the Major would take his share of the profits. After all, he is the only thing that could possibly keep us in business in addition to our sno-cone machine. Otherwise known as the meatball maker we stole from Rolf's place (EENE: The Mis-Edventures game reference)."

"Sno-cones? That sounds like a great idea," Noel added. "There's plenty of people around here that would love to have them, including me!"

"As much as I hate to agree with my annoying secretary, she's right," Jin said. "Sno-cones do not come by often around here. And when they do, people tend to flood the streets to get them." With each word, Eddy's eyes lit up, turning a more golden color each time. Jin looked over at him, confused. "Does he always do that?" he asked the other two Eds.

"Nah, they're usually silver," Ed replied.

"Very well, here is what I will agree to: if you agree to split the profits with me 70-30, I will help you in your scheme," the Major proposed.

"70-30!? No way! I'm going home," Eddy whined while he began to pull out his tablet.

"Eddy, wait!" Noel stopped him. "I would reconsider the idea. There's a LOT of people in Kagutsuchi who would go for this. You three would make more money than you think!"

"Oh yeah? How much money are we talking here?"

"The last time someone had a sno-cone stand here, they sold each one for 1PD. They ended the day with two hundred."

"Two hundred!?" all three Eds exclaimed. Eddy started to sweat at how much money he could be making. He turned to Jin. "You've got yourself a deal Jin!"

"I still can't believe I'm agreeing to such a childish idea," he scoffed. 'But then again, maybe BROTHER would want one, and how could I possibly forget to make one for HIM!?' he thought. 'This could be a great idea after all!'

* * *

Around 3PM, the Eds, Jin, and Noel were setting up a stand in Kagutsuchi's town square for their sno-cone business. Ed, Edd 'N Eddy brought their Cul-De-Sac friends out to the city so that they could get in on the sno-cones too since they were still at home frying in the cruel heat. The kids were standing off to the side while the five were setting up.

Double Dee was looking over his clipboard to check inventory. "Alright everyone, let's make sure we have what we need. Ed, Eddy? Are we good on the flavorings?"

"A-okay Double Dee! We have strawberry, blueberry, apple, bacon, ketchup, and sriracha flavors!" Ed confirmed while him and Eddy were getting them out.

"Erm, Ed? I'm not quite sure bacon, ketchup, and sriracha would be appropriate flavors for sno-cones." Double Dee said. Ed started throwing out the rejected flavorings. "Miss Noel? Is our sno-cone machine in working order?"

"Working fine, Double Dee!" Noel said while she started up the machine. It started to hiss and putter a few times, but after shooting it once with Bolverk, the machine ran normally. "NOW it's working fine, heh heh."

"My my, your ingenuity is…..interesting. Major? Are you ready?"

"Let's hurry up already. I'm getting tired of wasting time with trivial matters," Jin said impatiently.

"Wait, why am I here again?" Noel complained. "I'm not even getting paid for this!"

"You're going to help us otherwise I'll tell the Kagutsuchi Zoo who tried to steal one of their pandas," he threatened.

"W-what!? How did you-" she stammered.

Jin smirked. "You honestly think anyone else in this city would be foolish enough to attempt to take an animal such as that? You are as dumb as you appear, Lieutenant." Reluctantly, she agreed to help since she was being blackmailed. "Double Dee, let's get going."

"Um, very well then, let's open for business, shall we?"

"Hey Dorks! What's taking so long?" Kevin yelled.

"Yeah, me and Plank are getting sick of waiting!" Jonny added.

Eddy took that as a cue to get moving. "Hold your horses folks!" He climbed up to the top of the stand and pulled out his megaphone. "Attention ladies, gentlemen, and Terumi!" That earned him some laughs from his friends. "Want to beat the heat with a cool treat? Come on down to 'Ed's SNOL-Cones!' Cones for one platinum dollar!" Two minutes later, there was a line that stretched down the entire city block. 'The pigeons have flocked," Eddy thought with a grin.

First in line was Rolf. "Ed boys! One strawberry cone of frozen rain for Rolf!"

Thanks Rolfy-boy! That'll be a buck," Eddy said. Rolf paid his Cul-De-Sac cash and stood waiting. "Alright Major, do your stuff!"

"Summoning Yukianesa!" Jin unleashed his icy sword, immediately making the place cool down about ten degrees. He shot an ice sword into the slot in the machine and out came tiny ice chunks, the perfect size for sno-cones. Noel filled and handed off the cone to Ed, who then doused the ice with the strawberry syrup. He handed the cone to Rolf, who was happily slurping away at it. Eventually the five got through most of the customers, kids and Kagutsuchi residents alike and started finishing up with the last of the customers.

Eddy was drooling his near-full jar of cash from the day. "Double Dee! This actually worked! For once in our stinkin' lives a scam worked!" he cheered.

"Keep in mind that most of the profits go to the Major, Eddy," Double Dee pointed out. "Not to mention we have to deduct the costs of our equipment."

"Way to rain on my parade, Gloomsville," Eddy retorted. He turned back to the customers. "Alright, who's next?"

"Yeah, I'll take an apple one," everyone's favorite SS-Class criminal said.

Jin looked towards the direction of the voice. "BROTHER!? You came here to try my treats!?" he exclaimed with a creepy smile on his face.

Ragna jerked back a bit. "Ah hell, not you again! Jin, you work at this joint too?" he asked nervously.

"But of course, brother! Who else to make the snow for our wonderful sno-cones?"

"Shit, well whatever. Here's the cash, I'll just take the cone and be on my way." Ragna's cone was made and he started to walk away while eating it.

Jin however wasn't done yet. "Aw C'MON brother! You don't want to stay and chat for a bit?" he called out while running over to Ragna.

Ragna drew his sword. "I'm not in the mood to deal with you right now, asshole. I just came for the sno-cone and that's it," he warned.

"Hey, what the heck do you think you're doing!?" Eddy called out to his business partner. "We have sno-cones to make!"

Jin shot him an icy look, no pun intended. He turned back to Ragna. "But it's been so long since we've seen each other! Let's PLAY for a bit!" He drew his sword and started running at Ragna. He parried and pushed Jin back towards the stand.

"Jin! That's enough already!" Ragna yelled.

"I beg to differ! That's not NEARLY enough!" the younger brother said. The two started to hack and slash at each other around the stand, making all of the customers scatter while screaming.

"Major stop! You're scaring all of the customers away!" Noel yelled.

Any care Jin had about the sno-cone business at that point had gone out the window because he was too focused on "playing" with his brother. "Dead spike!" Ragna yelled, sending a head of the black beast at Jin, making him fly into the stand and smashing the machine and all of the syrups.

Eddy's face was turning redder by the second. He grabbed Ed by his feet and turned him into a mallet. He hit Jin on the head with him, leaving a large bump on the Major's head and making him fall to the ground in a daze.

"And all I wanted was a freaking sno-cone," Ragna sighed. He began to walk away when he was suddenly grabbed by Eddy, who was angrier than Gordon Ramsay on an episode of Hell's Kitchen.

"And where are YOU going, homewrecker!?" Eddy shouted. "You and this idiot just wrecked our business! YOU OWE US MON-" Ragna grabbed Eddy by his lips.

Ragna looked at Eddy with a murderous look in his eye. "Listen pipsqueak," he growled. "Jin caused the fight. I didn't want any trouble and he caused this to happen. I'm not paying for shit, got it?" Eddy nodded his head. He dropped Eddy on the ground and walked away.

* * *

The five business partners were sitting in Jin's office trying to deduct their losses and splitting up the profits for the day. All of the money they earned was sitting on his desk.

"Double Dee, how'd we do today?" Ed asked.

Double Dee was doing some last-minute calculations and finally found an answer. "Well Ed, we did very well today. It seems we have earned ourselves five hundred platinum dollars," he concluded with a smile.

Eddy's eyes became "cha-ching" slots like you'd see on a cash register. "WE"RE RICH! FILTHY STINKIN' RICH!" he yelled while grabbing the cash and rolling around in it.

Double Dee did some more calculations and immediately frowned. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we're not as rich as you would like to believe," he explained. Eddy looked at him with disgust. "With all of the damages caused plus the equipment used, it seems we are down to only thirty dollars. And since Major Kisaragi owns 70% of the profit, we have earned ourselves nine dollars total." Double Dee split the cash on the table into their respective piles.

"What!? NINE!? No way!" Eddy complained. "Him and Ragna broke most of the stuff! Make THEM pay for it!"

Jin glared at him. "If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even have this money fool!"

Eddy scoffed. "Like I care, I'm outta here!" He grabbed theirs and Jin's earnings and began to open a portal to Peach Creek. He started to make a run for it.

"Arctic Dungeon!" Jin yelled, plunging Yukianesa into the ground. Eddy and the cash were immediately frozen inside of an ice block with his teeth chattering. Jin turned to Noel. "Lieutenant, find an ice pick and retrieve the money." Noel did as she was told and picked out the cash from Eddy's frozen prison. She handed the boys their cuts of the cash.

"We apologize for Eddy's rash behavior, please forgive us," Double Dee said.

"Hmph, I suppose it isn't as bad as it seems," Jin replied. "I had gotten my work done early anyhow, so I needed something to occupy the time. Earning extra funds was worth it in the end, even by doing something as ridiculous as selling sno-cones."

"I kind of liked helping out," Noel said. "I can't wait to try making my own now!"

Ed grimaced at the thought of Noel's culinary disasters. He knows that she makes stuff even HE wouldn't eat. "AAAAUUUGGGHHH!" he yelled. He opened a portal and grabbed Double Dee and Eddy, who was still trapped in the ice. "Noel's food bad for Ed!" he yelled while running through the portal.

"My cooking's not THAT bad…..r-right Major?" Noel sobbed.

"I'm just glad someone else said it," he said, which made Noel continue sobbing. "Now go unclog the toilets in the women's bathrooms, someone didn't control themselves during burrito night in the cafeteria."

"Seriously?" the Lieutenant complained.

"Hold on, I have to call the zoo," he said with an evil smile. Immediately, Noel ran out of the office in a panic to go do the assigned task. 'I love my job,' he thought.

* * *

 _Hey everyone! Just thought I'd let you know that Episode 5 is listed as a BlazBlue and Touhou Project crossover since I figured every 5 episodes I would do a 3-way crossover deal. Hopefully you enjoy that too!_


	6. Episode 5: Master of Eds - Information

Hey everyone, tacoman828 here! I hope you like this series I put together so far, it ain't easy doing this let me tell ya. Yesterday I had come up with the idea of doing a three-way crossover every five episodes to make it a little more interesting. For this episode, I decided to do an Ed, Edd, 'N Eddy, BlazBlue, and Touhou Project crossover. I have it listed as a BlazBlue and Touhou Project crossover, so look under the "games" category for both. Or my profile. Either way works.

As usual, please review too, it really helps me write better when you do. Enjoy!


	7. Episode 6: Edstra Credit Part I

_A/N: Sorry it's been awhile guys, been busy with school, finals, my job, etc. This has been in the works for a little while, but I recently got into Touhou thanks to my roommate. Proof of that was the three-way crossover for Episode 5 and the stand-alone Touhou fic I did. Anyways, I'm back on this and I'll try to deliver more now that I'm on holiday break until mid-January. Here's Part 1 to hold you over for now._

The Eds were sitting in their final class of the day: science. Eddy was eyeing the clock with every waking moment to get out, Double Dee was trying to take down notes along with additional notes the teacher didn't even have, and Ed was picking his nose. About five minutes before the class was scheduled to end, the teacher announced that they were all going to get their tests back. The whole crass groaned, especially Eddy and Ed who had an idea about what their grades were going to be like before they even got them. She passed out all of the tests and then the school day ended.

Double Dee and Eddy were walking down the hallway with satisfaction at their grades. "My my Eddy, I'm surprised that you of all people had managed to successfully take an exam with passing marks!" he said.

Eddy had a casual, but smug grin on his face. "Yep, looks like I'm not as dumb as everyone thinks, huh Double Dee?" he said.

Double Dee narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. "You cheated again, didn't you?"

"Guilty as charged." They arrived at their lockers and opened them to collect their stuff. "But the weird thing is I only cheated for half of it. Somehow I knew the other half. Teachers must be going easier on me now."

Double Dee smiled. "That's called "learning" Eddy. You're understanding the material better, wonderful!"

"So I'm going to turn into an egghead loser like you too?" he asked. Double Dee frowned into an "are you freaking kidding me" face. "Aaaaaanyways, have you seen Ed? I didn't see him leave the classroom before us." They turned around to see Ed sobbing so much that the janitor was following him around with a mop and a bucket. He was holding his test results in his hand.

"Ed, what seems to be the matter?" Double Dee asked while giving Ed a box of tissues via hammerspace.

Ed blew his nose on the box instead of one tissue. "I failed my test, Double Dee! Life can be so cruel!" he whimpered.

Eddy scoffed. "Quit your griping Ed, you make it sound like you don't do that on a daily basis."

Ed got on his knees and started grubbing on the floor in front of his friends. "But Eddy, you don't understand! I have one more chance to pass a test or my mom will take away my monster movie collection! Life isn't worth living without monster movies!"

Naturally, Double Dee pitied his friend. "Aw, cheer up Ed, Eddy and I will be more than happy to help you learn," he reassured.

Ed looked up. "You will!?" he asked with an oversized smile on his face.

Eddy on the other hand, wasn't so crazy about the idea. "Hold on a minute! How did I get roped into helping Lumpy study?" he complained. "I have my own problems to worry about!"

Double Dee put his hands on his hips. "Really Eddy? You would abandon your friend in his time of need?" he said. "Just look at him, he needs us now more than ever." He pointed at Ed, who was still tearing up over his grades and writing a last will for his movie nights.

Eddy grumbled and cursed under his breath, but quiet enough that no one else could hear. He glared at Double Dee. "Fine, I'll help blubberhead here. Just don't expect a lot."

Ed grabbed both of them and drew them in for a big hug. "Aw, my bestest friends are going to save my monster movies! I'm gonna be smarterer!" he said with delight while his two friends tried to break free from his iron-clad hug.

* * *

The Eds were in Double Dee's basement with Ed sitting in a desk and the other two standing in front of a chalkboard. Double Dee brought his chemistry set down from his room to help demonstrate. Double Dee was writing some compounds on the chalkboard to go over.

"Shall we begin Ed?" Double Dee asked while turning around. He saw Ed was busy counting his teeth. "Oh Ed? We're starting now." Ed still didn't hear him.

Eddy threw a beaker at his head, finally making him pay attention. "C'mon Ed, if I'm gonna be stuck helping you, you better make it worth it!" he complained. He turned to Double Dee. "Let's hurry up and get this over with already."

Double Dee shuffled some papers. "Erm, yes. Very well then. Ed, I'm going to ask you some questions and you give me your best answers. Then we can figure out what you need to work on."

Ed puffed out his chest. "In the name of my movies, I. WILL. SUCCEED!."

Double Dee looked over the first question. "What temperature does water freeze at?"

Ed took a minute to think. "Um, a hundred?"

Double Dee shook his head. "No, 32 degrees fahrenheit. Next question: name one of Newton's laws."

"Uh….picking my bellybutton gives me gas?"

Eddy slapped his hand to his forehead. "Good grief Ed, even I can get that one! Double Dee, let me choose one he can get." He snatched the papers from Double Dee's hands and flipped around for one. "Okay Monobrow, who invented the unit for power?"

"President Lincoln?"

Double Dee and Eddy looked at each other dismissively. "We need help," they said in unison. With that last word, Double Dee got out his tablet.

* * *

The staff of Sector Seven were in the lab working on a new upgrade for Lambda to use. The Murakumo was sitting in a chair with multiple wires coming out of her and hooked up to a computer while Kokonoe was tapping some codes into it.

"Professor," Lambda began. "Requesting estimated time of upgrade completion."

"Just a few more minutes, take it easy Lambda," Kokonoe replied while tapping away at the keys. She kept a focused but slightly annoyed face throughout the whole ordeal.

Tager noticed her annoyance right off the bat. "Erm, Kokonoe? Are you okay?"

Kokonoe never took her eyes off of the computer. "Yeah, just wonderful. Except that the codes are taking forever to enter!" she complained out loud while throwing her hands in the air. "Damn, getting through this is taking longer than I thought."

Tager looked at her computer. "Would it happen to be because you're using Internet Explorer?"

"So what if I am? That ain't gonna change anything!"

Tager sighed. "Just switch to a different browser. It's nearly guaranteed to be faster."

Kokonoe scoffed under her breath. "Fine, but just to prove to you that it's not going to change." She clicked out of IE and booted up a different browser and reinitialized the program. Thirty seconds later the download process was done. "Woah,that was fast," she said, astonished.

"Told you," Tager replied. Kokonoe flipped him off.

"Download complete." Lambda said. Kokonoe removed the wires and shut down the program.

After shutting the program down, the computer got a notification from Peach Creek. "Peach Creek huh? I wonder what they want," Kokonoe said. She tapped some keys on the computer and allowed access to whoever was asking. A beam from her teleporter zapped in the Eds. "Oh, hi boys. Fancy seeing you three here, what's up?"

"Hmm, that's interesting," Double Dee wondered. "We didn't come out of a portal, but rather we got beamed from a teleporter."

"That's because I'd rather have all of you squirts come from a specific part of the lab than just anywhere and damage the equipment," Kokonoe answered. "If this stuff gets damaged, Internal Affairs will have my ass for sure."

"If you don't mind me asking, what brings you boys here?" Tager asked.

"Eddy and Double Dee are trying to help me study for my science class," Ed began to explain. "If I fail again, my mom will ground me from watching monster movies!"

"Hmph, didn't think Ed of all people would care about trying to study," Kokonoe remarked. "That still doesn't explain why you guys came here."

"Since Ed can't understand anything we're saying to him, we figured you're our last hope," Eddy said. "Sock Head talks like Albert Einstein and I barely know enough to pass my own tests."

"I see….Ed wants to further his education, that's respectable," Tager noted. He turned to Kokonoe. "Kokonoe, I don't see why we can't help him out a little bit, you might be able to put some of your scientific expertise to use."

"Ah man, that's a drag," Kokonoe sighed in disgust. "What makes you think I have time to help Ed anyways?"

Double Dee thought of an idea quick. "In exchange for your services, I am sure Ed would be willing to help you with your experiments first-hand." Everyone glanced at Ed, who stuck his hand in a tesla wire.

Ed got electrocuted and revealed his skeleton. After taking it out, he was blackened and smoking. "Heh heh, shocking," he said with a dopey smile.

An evil grin creeped across the scientist's face after seeing Ed's accident. She turned to Eddy and Double Dee. "Alright, we'll help him out for a few hours. When we're done with him, he'll be the best damn lab rat, er I mean assistant, you've ever seen!"

Eddy shrugged. "Sounds good to me. We'll pick him up later." Him and Double Dee waved goodbye and opened a portal to go home.

After they left Kokonoe looked over Ed a couple of times. 'Now what to do first, heh heh heh,' she thought to herself.


	8. Episode 6: Edstra Credit Part II

Ten minutes later Sector Seven and Ed were standing in front of a small rock column with a chemistry set and a chalkboard nearby. Kokonoe was looking over her clipboard to check the experiment procedure. "Alright Ed, you said you like monster movies, right?"

"Yeah, with all my heart!" Ed cheered.

"Can you tell me some of the things that the monsters in the movies do?"

Ed put his hand to his chin in deep thought. "Um, they eat people, smash cities, fight other monsters, and destroy things with their atomic breath. Pretty cool, huh?"

Kokonoe smiled. "What if I told you we can show you how to make things like rocks and stuff melt like the monsters' breath?"

Ed went wide-eyed and smiled big. "We can do that!? That'll be funner than when I danced with Wilfred in Season 6!"

"Erm, yeah whatever. Moving on," Kokonoe directed everyone's attention to the chemistry set. She held up a small plastic vial of a colorless liquid. "See this Ed? This is called hydrofluoric acid. It can corrode a lot of shit, like that rock over there." She demonstrated by pouring a bit on the rock and melting some of it away.

"That's so cool! It's like what happened in "I Was A Teenage Chemistry Set," a classic," Ed remarked at the site of it. "Show me how to do this so I can melt stuff too!" He started making a grab for it but Tager and Lambda were holding him back.

"You must restrain yourself Ed," Tager warned. "Hydrofluoric acid can melt away your skin and poison you too."

That shut Ed up. He calmed down enough to let Sector Seven release their hold on him. Kokonoe led everyone to the chemistry set and brought out a few chemicals she had stashed underneath. She wrote a chemical equation on the blackboard. "Ever seen one of these?" Ed nodded. "Know how to do them?" Then he shook his head no. She sighed. "Lambda, you're up. Show nimrod here how to do a chemical equation."

Lambda took her place up front. "Understood. Initializing instructional program," she said emotionlessly. A few seconds later her ruby red eyes showed a little more emotion behind them and she gave an uncharacteristic small smile. "Now in instructor mode. Shall we begin Ed?" Ed smiled in anticipation. Lambda spent a few minutes showing Ed how to write the compound which he surprisingly picked up fast.

Lambda weighed out materials needed to synthesize the acid and then turned to Ed. "Ed, by combining sulfuric acid and mineral fluorite as seen on the board, you will make hydrofluoric acid and calcium sulfate. Please proceed." Ed did as he was told and put the materials in a galvanized metal container. He then stuck them on top of a giant 7-foot burner Kokonoe illegally made against Sector Seven's instructions. Tager turned on the burner.

"As soon as this burner hits 265 degrees celsius, you should see the acid come out of this tube here," Tager said while showing Ed the spout and the container the acid was going to go into.

"Cool! Will I gain the power to melt stuff if I touch it?" Ed asked enthusiastically. All of Sector Seven facepalmed.

A few minutes later the burner hit the required temperature and the acid started pouring out into the container. Ed was watching with glee over his new creation. Kokonoe wrote down the test results. "Hmm, 52% yield. Not the greatest result ever, but it's pretty good considering Ed was the one who did it," she observed. She made Ed put on rubber gloves and started to hand him the container. "Well, give it a try brainiac. See if you did it correctly," she instructed.

Ed poured the acid on the rock and within seconds the entire rock was completely dissolved. "Woah! Science is cool!" he exclaimed. "I can't wait to show Double Dee!"

Tager frowned. "I don't think you should be making this stuff on your own Ed," he said. "We're doing it now as an example and we're also professionals. This is a very dangerous chemical to work with." Ed didn't hear him, he was too busy musing over destroying the rock.

"Now that we covered chemical compounds, let's move on to electricity," Kokonoe said.

* * *

A few minutes the four of them were by the tesla coil Ed had put his hand in earlier. "So Ed, do you know who invented the tesla coil?" Tager asked.

"President Lincoln?" The rest sighed.

"Nikola Tesla, which is where the name comes from. Tesla invented the tesla, heh heh. The tesla coil produces a large field of electricity from a reactor using alternating currents. When you got shocked earlier, you experienced it on it's lowest setting, imagine what could happen if it was powered up all the way." Ed shuddered at the thought.

"This reminds me of when Double Dee's science fair project was wrecked back in the author's first fic," Ed noticed.

"That was because that bastard Terumi," Kokonoe retched just getting his name out. "Overpowered the accident by observing it. If he didn't do anything, it would have sparked a couple of times and then just made a lot of smoke. But NO, he had to go and MESS WITH SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE AND-" Tager shoved a silvervine candy into her mouth and she immediately began to relax. "Thanks Tager, I needed that."

"The coil is so strong it will light up fluorescent lights from 50 feet away," Lambda, still in instructor mode, mentioned. "Even ones that have been previously burned out."

Kokonoe, seeing the smile on Ed's face, was coming up with an idea. "So Ed, want to give it a try?" He nodded so hard his eyebrow came off, which he quickly put back on. The scientist handed him a remote control and showed him the controls. "Aim the coil at that light I have set up over there," she instructed while showing him the target. Ed aimed the machine, pressed the buttons, and the coil immediately lit it up.

"Oh boy oh boy oh boy!" Ed cheered. "With all of this science stuff, I can become a superhero! I can understand what Double Dee's saying! I can-"

"Woah, slow down there kid. Science is cool and all, but remember that someone as inexperienced as you could seriously hurt someone." Kokonoe looked at Tager. "Tager, show him what I mean."

Tager narrowed his eyes. "You aren't actually considering-"

"Yep," she cut him off. While the Red Devil got in place, Kokonoe turned back to Ed. "Listen Ed, this is gonna be painful for a second, but you'll be fine afterwards. I just need you to-"

"AAAAAUUUUUUGGGGHHHH!" Ed screamed at the sound of him getting hurt. "Don't shock me and sell my organs on the Internet, please!" He started running around the place for a way out while the three of them gave chase. Lambda used her gravity seed and trapped Ed, who was still running in place.

"There is no need to fear Ed," Tager reassured. "I will not do any lethal harm to you, this is just to prove what can happen to the human body with too much electricity exposure. Please stand still and brace yourself." Ed was still trying to run, but the gravity seed kept him from going anywhere. Tager charged up his fists and aimed at Ed. "Spark Bolt!" he called out. A blast of electrical energy emulated from the Red Devil's hands and shot at Sector Seven's newest pupil. Ed lit up like a Christmas tree for a few seconds and then fell to the ground smoking.

"Hmph, never expected someone to smell like Jimmy Dean's after getting electrocuted, must be a first," Kokonoe joked. The three of them helped him up while his eyeballs were rolling in his sockets and his eyebrow looked like a vital sign. "So, whaddya think Ed?"

Ed was still dazed from the shock and sparked a couple of times, but came to his senses a few seconds later. "Woah, I think my brain stopped."

Lambda stepped up to explain. "That is because the human body can take up to a tenth of an ampere of electricity before death becomes imminent. I believe Tager has reduced the amount of electricity he projected into you to give you a personal experience." Tager nodded in confirmation.

Ed grinned. "Cool! Show me more stuff!"

* * *

Throughout the day, Sector Seven was showing Ed different scientific tools and procedures for him to try out and learn about. Turns out Ed couldn't learn anything in a book, but when it came to actually doing science in physical form, he was picking it up surprisingly fast. When learning about decibel levels Kokonoe gave him a bass similar to the one he used during Halloween. He kept increasing the bass level until he accidentally blew out the windows, but he got the message anyways. During a brief history lesson, Ed referred to Nikola Tesla as the "shock guy."

In the middle of another chemistry lesson, Kokonoe got the notification from Double Dee and Eddy and she let them in. The two got beamed into the room. "Man, I can't get used to that weird beaming trick," Eddy complained while rubbing the back of his neck. "Feels like my neck keeps getting rebuilt every time you do that."

"Well it's not like I regularly have visitors here either nimrod," Kokonoe shot back. She directed their attention to Ed, who was lighting other chemicals on fire and seeing what colors they burned and ogling the results. "All I'm going to say is you're gonna be really surprised with how he's doing. If an idiot like him can pick this stuff up, anyone can."

Eddy was dumbstruck and then began to fall on the ground laughing. "Ed? Learning? The only time I've seen those words in the same sentence is "Ed sucks at learning."" He stopped when he saw Kokonoe staring at him annoyed, a vein popping into her head. "Wait, you're actually telling me Lumpy gets this stuff?"

"Perhaps it would be beneficial for all of us to see if our efforts were successful or not," Double Dee suggested. The other two nodded in agreement. They walked over to Ed, who was still lighting stuff on fire.

Ed was holding two burning pieces of calcium in his hands and showed the guys. "Eddy! Double Dee!" he exclaimed. "Look, I'm a multicolored firebender!"

"Ed! You realize you're holding burning chemicals in your hands!?" Double Dee yelled, alarmed.

"Pssh, don't worry about burn-" Ed suddenly was aware of the burning in his skin. A second later, he got caught on fire. "AAAUUUGGGHHH!" he screamed while running around in circles.

Kokonoe cursed under her breath. "Lambda," she said. Lambda nodded and placed Ed under a shower meant for chemical mishaps. She doused him and put out the flames.

"Can we go home now Lumpy?" Eddy asked impatiently. Ed said yes and walked over to join his friends.

"Hey hold up, what do we get for helping him out?" Kokonoe complained.

"Um, thanks a lot for helping him glad you took the time, blah blah blah. Yeah, let's go."

Double Dee rolled his eyes. "I refuse to let a debt go unpaid, so I brough my Xi-14 suit for you all to experiment with and see if you can possibly make it functional," he said while getting it out via hammerspace. Kokonoe took it from him and inspected it.

She liked what she saw. "Maybe I can get in on the action myself once in awhile then too. You have a deal." On that note, the Eds opened a portal and headed home.

* * *

A week later, the boys had another science test, and while Double Dee was ready and Eddy was not as usual, Ed had actually studied and was pumped up for it.

"So Ed, are you ready to apply your studies today and see if they were at all meaningful?" Double Dee asked with delight.

Ed shrugged it off with a confident smile. "I can do this! Or my name isn't Luthor!" he said while pulling out his spatula via hammerspace.

"Save it for Halloween Monobrow," Eddy scoffed. "Let's get this over with already.

Five minutes later the written test began. Ed began to scan the questions carefully. 'Name the invention by Nikola Tesla that produces electrical discharge like a generator,' he read. He thought back to getting shocked back at the lab. He wrote down "Tesla coil." The whole test pretty much went like this; he remembers incidents back at the lab and in return he remembers the answers.

After that the physical test was next. Ed gathered some sulfuric acid and fluorite. Eddy looked over at him. "Ed, you're not just mixing random chemicals together, right?" he asked. Ed shook his head no and had a confident smile on his face. Eddy tugged on Double Dee's sleeve. "Hey Sock Head, might want to be ready to make a break for it. Ed's making something and I feel like he's going to blow this place to kingdom come."

"Oh come now Eddy, have some faith in Kokonoe's teachings," Double Dee said, trying to sound convincing but had an undertone of worry in his voice. Both kept their eyes trained on Ed the whole time, but were surprised that he was weighing out the components and actually knew how to operate the burner. Last time he used one, he nearly burned down the whole classroom roasting marshmallows over the flame. The boys were further surprised when he checked the temperature and set a timer.

"Um, Ed? Is that you?" Eddy asked. This was not the Ed him and Double Dee knew. The Ed they knew would have blown up the place within seconds of coming into contact with chemicals. Now they see an Ed who's actually doing measurements and correctly collecting his sample in the plastic beaker.

Double Dee walked over to see how Ed was doing. "My my Ed, it seems the professor has educated you far better than anyone, well done!" he congratulated. "Would you mind telling me what you made?"

Ed proudly revealed his compound. "I made something they showed me called hydrofluoric acid or something! Pretty cool huh?" He took his eyes off of his creation to see Double Dee's reaction, but it was one of terror. "Erm, Double Dee? I won't turn into Superman with this stuff, don't worry."

"Ed! Do you realize that will melt through almost anything here!?" he exclaimed. "You could get us all hurt!" He tried taking the vial away, but Ed wasn't giving it up. The beaker got hit up into the air and both were scrambling for it. Until it slipped through both of their hands and broke on the ground.

Both looked at each other. "Uh oh," they said in unison. The acid melted through the floor and revealed the classroom underneath.

Jonny looked up from his desk in the room below. "Hiya guys!" he said. "How the heck did you melt the ceiling?" The fire alarm sounded and everyone was evacuated.

* * *

The next day after class the Eds were patching up the hole in the ceiling. "Great, Ed actually learns something for once and we STILL get detention! Nice going Sock Head." Eddy muttered while getting more wood for a temporary patch.

"Well pardon me Eddy, but I was not informed of the subjects Sector Seven would be teaching," Double Dee shot back. "How would I know Ed would have the ability to produce such a dangerous compound?" He went back to nailing the wooden planks in. "Ed, could you please hand me more nails?" Nothing. "Ed?" Both of them looked over at Ed, who was still mooning over the surprising B he got.

Eddy hit him with a hammer, leaving a bump. "Wake up will ya? We gotta get this done and we can't do that if you're sitting there getting ready to propose to that piece of paper."

Ed looked sheepish. "But Eddy, I still get to watch monster movies now! I'm happy for this!"

Double Dee couldn't help but smile. "Though I'm not thrilled about the end result for all of us, I am pleased your determination helped you pass, well done! By the way, what else did Professor Kokonoe teach you if you don't mind my intrusion?"

Ed grinned. "She showed me different elements burn different colors! Here, let me show you!" He got up and got a piece of lithium from the chemical cabinet. "Watch, this calcium will become red!" He began to set it on fire.

Double Dee realized what was happening too late. "Wait, Ed! NO!" A second later, the whole room exploded. All three boys were scattered around the room and blackened from the explosion.

"Lesson learned: never ask Kokonoe for help with science again." Eddy grumbled


End file.
